Update: After much thought and consideration and conversations with people, beautiful and worried emails, phone calls, texts, facebook messages of support, and comments left here I've decided that maybe I will go on blogging.
I'm going to work on keeping the blog a little more distant from my personal life - expect more fanciful photo shoots of clothing and old items, perhaps some room tours, and less about my family and relationships offline. I need to really work to protect them and guard them and when I feature them on this blog I am projecting an image that they don't always feel they can live up to. That's not fair of me.
But it's also not fair to ask me to give this up completely as well, for all the reasons outlined below.
I've had this blog up and running for over four hundred posts. I've really appreciated what this blog has allowed me to do - document the very best, the most perfect parts of my life.
It's not all like that, though. There are screaming matches in the kitchen with JR sometimes. Our cats shed and claw up everything. Our house is a wreck most of the time. My clothes don't always match and sometimes I smell bad or look frumpy. I crash or my mascara runs.
And it's okay to not be perfect. No blogger is. I know behind the photos that they take there are probably another fifteen that get rejected. Behind the perfectly cooked meal plated wonderfully on matching or artfully mismatched china are a dozen failed recipes or burnt things or fallen soufflés.
I thought the idea of archiving the perfect would, in a way, help me see the world in a better light. Understand that there are glimpses of calm and comfort and glory in a chaotic, stressful, careless world, save them up and savor them.
But not everyone sees it like that. Some people see it as a staged effort to live some sort of perfect life for other reasons, like a reason to be stressed out when things go wrong, because it doesn't match up to the things here.
But it's not true. I was just saving the very best. I was jealously guarding what I thought was comfort.
But until that is clearly understood I can't continue to post.
Hopefully this is resolved soon but until then...
Elizabeth (who continues to live, and live, and live. Don't you worry!)