Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Date Night

Traversing the bouldering cave at the rock climbing gym.

Every Tuesday, Jon and I have date night. Throughout our relationship, ever since it got "serious," we have had a once a week time that we designate as an open forum. Date night has always been a time when we enjoy the simple pleasures that we both enjoy - bike rides, walks, kayaking on our lake, dinners to restaurants we enjoy. They never need be expensive or exhausting. We have had many free date nights close to our house! Now, however, we do budget a certain amount of money every pay check to use on date night. I like a respite from the kitchen once a week! Despite the different activities we do, we always make time to have conversation that revolves specifically around us. We do, of course, discuss other things, but this is "relationship work time."

We have a tradition of asking these four questions:

What is good in our relationship?
What is bad in our relationship?
What are your dreams?
How can I help you achieve them?
I'm sure as life progresses those questions will change or be added on to, but for now they suffice. They give us an open, neutral space to discuss our relationship, help us to stay in touch with each other's perceptions of it, and figure out what is going on in the hearts of our spouses. While some people may not need a designated set of questions, we find it helpful!

For the past three weeks, date night has consisted of rock climbing and dinner out. I think that these have been some of the most fun date nights!

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